Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997) ✩✩✩✩

11:57 pm - Mon, Jun 18, 2012: 18 notes

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997) ✩✩✩✩

So I never promised I was only going to review current cinema, OR MAYBE I DID, I forget a lot of what I say. But before we begin, I feel I need to clarify something. Number one, yes I’m in a BITTER custody battle with the Cruise’s for full guardianship of James Van Der Beek. Number two, this film review blog isn’t written to impress critics or buffs, but to provide LIGHT READING MATERIAL which shan’t include terminology such as ‘mise en scene’, ‘depth of field’, ‘neosynchronous sound’, or ‘Helen Mirren’. Just because I studied FILM at degree level does NOT mean I know anything about it.

So, Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion! If someone were to ask me why this 1997 gelled quiff CLASSIC was one of my favourite films I’d have to say solely because of Mira Sorvino’s ELONGATED VOWEL PRONUNCIATION. You knuuuuw? For Rosie and I, it’s on equal par of quotability with Mean Girls. “If anybody needs to make a call, I’ve got a phewwwne.”

I have to admit I was CONCERNED this film wasn’t going to be a hit with my lactose intolerant partner in crime. We’re all aware of her disliking towards Friends, also dairy, and considering Lisa Kudrow is more than PRESENT throughout this film, I thought Rosie was going to slam me with, “OH MA GAWD SHE’S PHOEBE IN EVERYTHAAANG.” Whether this be true or NOT is beside the point because her comic timing, accompanied by Sorvino’s raw, dominating screen presence and epic line delivery is just WIZARD. (This is a genuine adjective, Paulie Bleeker made it ok.)

Romy and Michele are best friends (no homo) and since graduating high school have lived together in LA in their own big haired, brightly coloured, 90s bubble of skintight perfection. Both live modestly, enjoy each other’s company, and dominate the dance floor with awe inspiring routines that give the Geller’s a run for their money. But 10 years post graduation and a high school reunion is due. Both Romy and Michele, dream of being their class success stories and as a result of being unsatisfied with their real lives, lie and pose as career driven business women in an attempt to outshine ‘The A Group’, aka ‘The Plastics’. But can they keep up appearances when questioned about the chemical formula of glue? Will their quest for popularity only drive them apart, and most importantly, will Rosie and I ever have the courage to perform our OWN Time After Time disco dance routine to the internet?

This film is like COMFORT FOOD FOR THE RETINA. I strongly suggest you watch it before a coronary embolism. So throw it on your bucket list of things to do! Put it between ‘punch a whale’ and ‘Hilarie Burton’.

I give this film 4 stars on the Dixometre! I would have given it 5, but I revoked a star because I lost my starring role as Billy Christenson to Fun fucking Bobby.